Two terrorists are chatting. One of them opens his wallet and flips through pictures.
“You see, this is my oldest. He’s a martyr. Here’s my second son. He’s a martyr, too.” The second terrorist says, gently,
“Ah, they blow up so fast, don’t they?”
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.
A Mexican and a black man sit in a car, who is driving?
Two pedophiles sunbathing. One goes to the other, “Will you get out of my son!”
What’s soft and pink and has seven dents?
Snow White’s hymen.
What’s black on top but white on the bottom?
What’s white on top but black on the bottom?
How do you outrun a Jewish cop?
Take the toll road.
What do you call a black man in a 3-piece suit?
How do you make a hormone?
Punch her in the stomach.
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms?
They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a guy hiding behind a gravestone.
I said “morning.”
He replied, “No, just having a shit.”
In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery. Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong… I can’t feel my legs! Doctor: Yes, we’ve had to amputate both your arms.
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it’s only for victims.
Why do Asians have such squinty eyes?
Atomic bombs are pretty bright.
Roses are red, Violets aren’t magenta, If you have a baby,
I’ll eat the placenta
Why don’t black people dream?
Because the last black person that had a dream got shot.
What’s a Jewish dilema?
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, downs syndrome, quadriplegic baby get for christmas?
What bounces and makes kids cry?
My donation check to the food bank.
What’s blue and doesn’t fit?
A dead epileptic.
Why are black people tall? Because their knee grows.
How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If you don’t have a foreskin
You’re probably Jew-ish.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
How did re-fried beans get their name?
Have you ever seen a Mexican do something right the first time?
A couple of hookers are standing on a corner as a police car slowly drives by.
One turns to the other and asks: “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
The other replies: “No, but I’ve been swung around by my tits.”