What’s a Jewish dilema?
What bounces and makes kids cry?
My donation check to the food bank.
What’s blue and doesn’t fit?
A dead epileptic.
Why do Asians have such squinty eyes?
Atomic bombs are pretty bright.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
Why are black people tall?
Because their knee grows.
How many Alzheimers patients does it take to change a lightbulb?
To get to the other side.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What did one tampon say to the other?
They were both stuck up cunts.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Yeah, neither have they.
Why can’t Hellen Keller drive?
Because she’s a woman.
Why do black people keep getting stronger?
TVs keep getting bigger
How do you get a fat girl in bed?
Piece of cake.
What did the black kid get for his birthday?
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
Because she moans with the other.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
“Keep the tip”.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
What did the black guy get on his SAT test?
What do you give a cannibal who is late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence?
What does a homeless woman use for a vibrator?
Two flies in a bottle.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person?
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Why don’t black people celebrate Thanksgiving?
Because KFC isn’t open on holidays.
Why can’t ophans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What’s worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?
Going back in to ask for a coat hanger.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw the gas bill.