Jew jokes

Every day : 5 jew jokes


   jew jokes

Jew jokes-02/04/2017

Where were black Jews first discovered? At the back of the oven

Whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus

Santa Claus goes down the chimney

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza only one comes out of the oven

Laura: My mom never bought me an easy bake oven when I was a child.
Tom: That’s probably a good thing since you’re Jewish!




   jew jokes

Jew jokes-01/04/2017

why did Hitler get hit by the baseball?

He did Nazi it coming

how do you make a jew fly? with a slight breeze.

What band was formed by French holocaust survivors?
Jew Ran Jew Ran

What do you call a Jewixh Pokemon trainer? Ash.




   jew jokes

Jew jokes-31/03/2017

What does a Jewish American Princess do during a nuclear holocaust?
Gets out her sun reflector!

Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
They give them gas.

What do hippies and jews have in common?  

They both bake at 420

What’s the difference between boy scouts and jews? Boy Scouts come home from camp.




   jew jokes

Jew jokes -30/03/2017

What is faster than a speeding bullet?
A Jew with a coupon!

They say there’s safety in numbers… but try telling that to 6 million Jews!

Why is it bad being a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven.

What is the difference between a ton of coal and 1,000 Jews?
Jews burn longer!




   jew jokes

Jew jokes-29/03/2017

The Jewish civilization is 6000 years old.
The Christian civilization is 2000 years old.
So apparently for 4000 years the Jews had to persecute themselves…

How do you know a limo is owned by a Jew?
He’s got a pay phone in the back.

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, I’ll sit in the dark. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. It’s okay. It’s not like you ever come to visit me anyway! Oy!

What is the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
An Italian mother tells you “eat your dinner or I’ll kill you!” A Jewish mother tells you “eat your dinner or I’ll kill myself!”




   jew jokes

Jew jokes-28/03/2017

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
They all gather around their cash registers and sing “What a Friend we Have in Jesus…”

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to call the cleaning lady and two to feel guilty about it.

Why does Hanukkah come before Christmas?
So Jews can break up with their non-Jewish girlfriends in between.

Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free.




   jew jokes

Jew jokes-27/03/2017

Bill: I’m pretty famous. A Jewish holiday was named after my sex life.
John: Which one is that?
Bill: Passover.

What is the difference between a large pizza and a Jew?
The large pizza won’t scream when you put it in the oven!

Did you hear about the Jewish Mother cash machine?
When you take out money it says “what did you do with the last $50 I gave you?”

Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?
Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

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