How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Depends on how fast they can run to it without getting shot.
What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke.
What’s grey, runs along walls and kills Jews? Gas Pipes.
That boy in the movie “The Visit” must have been jewish, his nazi grandmother knew he belonged in the oven.
They are Jews so fucking bad at CoD?
They’re all fucking campers
What’s the worst thing about being black and Jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven
What did Hitler say when all the camps got raided? Did “jew” see that
What’s a Jews favourite band? Nickelback
Did you hear about the man who was flattened by a steam roller? He’s in the hospital, rooms 30 through 35.
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend
Boy to his sister: Why are grandfather’s teeth like the stars? I don’t know. Because they come out at night.
What do Jews say when they are asked to go on a train. they say ‘I’m not falling for that trick again!’
Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women don’t like anything that Isn’t 20% off.
Friend: Why is your brother always flying off the handle ? Little Brother: Because he has a screw loose!
Two snowmen are standing in a yard talking to each other when one stops and says, “Say, do you smell carrots?”
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
My wife Miriam and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Moishe asked Shmuel, “Was your wife outspoken?”Shmuel said, “Not by anyone I know of.”
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady, I haven’t eaten in three days.” “Force yourself,” she replied.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Don’t be humble; you are not that great. I haveenough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
Why Jewis Women Like Chinese Food The Harvard School of Medici nedid a study of why JewishWomen like Chinese food so much. The study revealed thatThis is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward isNot Now.
Today my rabbi knocked at my door asking for a small donation towards the local mikva. I gave him a glass of water.
Did you hear about the new tires, Fire stein? They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage? Genghis Cohen.
I hope Hanukkah shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday saved you money but not enought to perpetuate a stereotype
A Jewish boy ask shis father for twenty dollars. His father replied, “ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I’d be happy to give you a dollar, here’s a quarter.”