Jew jokes

Every day : 5 jew jokes


   jew jokes

jew jokes-14/05/2017

Q: what does a Jewish pirate say?

A: Ahoy vey!

Q: How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?

A: When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.

Q: Where does Moshe hide money from his wife Sadie?

A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
Q: Did you hear about the new jewish tire coming out this summer?

A: It not only stops you on a dime but it picks it up too.

Q: A Jew walks in to a wall with a boner. What hits first?

A: His nose




   jew jokes

jew jokes-13/05/2017

Q: What is the proper blessing to recite before logging on to the Internet?

A: “Modem anachnu loch…

Q: Why don’t Jews trust Germans?

A: Because the first time they did nazi that coming.

Q: If a doctor carries a black leather bag and a plumber carries a box of tools, what does a mohel carry?

A: A bris kit.

Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?

A: Fillet minyan.

Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a passover pizza?

A: Matzarello




   jew jokes

jew jokes-12/05/2017

Q: What do you call a Jewish kid in a hat?

A: Fedorable.

Q: What do you call an Asian Jew?

A: Jew Wa Lee (Julie)

Q: Define: Genius

A: A “C” student with a Jewish mother.

Q: Who was the most well known Jewish cook?

A: Hitler!
Q: Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel?

A: It’s called “Cheeses of Nazareth.




   jew jokes

jew jokes-11/05/2017

Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?

A: Genghis Cohen.

Q: Would you believe the Flinstones were Jewish?

A: Yabba Dabba Jew!

Q: What do you call a Jewish knight?

A: Sir Cumsiced.

Q: What Holiday does a Jewish car celebrate?

A: Honk-in-ka

Q: What aren’t Jews in the Boy Scouts?

A: Their parents refuse to send them to a camp.




   jew jokes

jew jokes-10/05/2017

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?

A: Because the air is free.

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish troll?

A: His name was Rumpled Foreskin.

Q: Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?

A: They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!

Q: What is a jews least favorite hotdog topping?

A: Sauerkraut

Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?

A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.




   jew jokes

jew jokes-09/05/2017

Q: What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?

A: In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.

Q: Why were gentiles invented?

A: Somebody has to pay retail.

Q: What do you call a potato that picks on Jews?

A: a dicTATER.

Q: Why don’t people mug Jews on Yom Kippur?

A: Dey fast.

Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?

A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it’s 20% off



   jew jokes


jew jokes-08/05/2017

Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?

A: When it graduates from med school.

Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward?

A: They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Q: What’s the definition of a queer Jew?

A: Someone that likes girls more than money.

Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Q: What do you call someone from Israel that has to sneeze?

A: A Jew


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