Jew jokes

Every day : 5 jew jokes


   jew jokes

jew jokes-21/05/2017

Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses?

Because they haven’t figured out how to steal houses yet!

Why do black people go to the Liberty Bell?

They heard there was some crack in it.

Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.

Once you heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

Why did the white guy go to the black guy’s yard sale?

To get his stuff bac

Why don’t black people dream?

Because the last black guy that “had a dream” got shot



   jew jokes

jew jokes-20/05/2017

Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?

A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.

Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses?

A: Because their afraid of the showers.

What’s the difference between a black and a white fairytale? White begins, “once upon a time,” black begins, “y’all motherfuckers ain’t gonna believe dis shit!”

Q: Why are all black people fast?

A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

Q: What word starts with “N” and ends with “R” that you never want to call a black person?

A: Neighbour.



   jew jokes

jew jokes-19/05/2017

Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women do not want to touch anything which has not got a 20% deduction

How do you tell when time is reversing?

When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.

A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage.” The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?”

Q: What is a Jews biggest dilemma?

A: Free Pork.

Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.



   jew jokes

jew jokes-18/05/2017

I used to work for a Jewish pet shop.
They were always making sure that no rabbis had accidentally hopped into my bag when I was leaving

Why don’t Jews eat pigs?
You can call a Jew a lot of things, but they are certainly not cannibals.

Two Jews are sitting on a bridge and killing some time. The first one dips his feet in the ocean and shouts: “It is cold! It is cold!”
The other one dips his nose and shouts: “It is also very deep!”

Hitler maybe killed 6 000 000 Jews, but he really saved the History Channel.

Why do Jews watch porn movies in reverse?
– They really love the scene when the whore is giving the man back his money.



   jew jokes

jew jokes-17/05/2017

How do you get them out of there?
Tell them that Hitler is driving the car.
What is faster than sound?
A Jew eating at a buffet.

They say that the more you are, the safer you are.
Unless you are  6 000 000.
And everyone is a Jew.

Why are all Jewish synagogues round?
So that they can not hide in the corners when the guard is making his round.

What is the difference between scouts and Jews?
Scouts return from their camps.



   jew jokes

jew jokes-16/05/2017
Why did Hitler commit suicide?

He saw the gas bill!

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
The pizza does not scream when it gets put in the oven.
What is the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus comes from inside the chimney.
Why do Jews have such big noses?
Because the air is free.

How do you get 100 Jews into a car?
You throw in a nickel.




   jew jokes

jew jokes-15/05/2017


Q: Where do Jewish hogs live in Pennsylvania?

A: Pigs Berg

Q: Why did the jew soundproof his house?

A: So his kids couldn’t hear the ice cream truck?

Q: Did you hear about the short-sighted mohel (circumciser)?

A: He got the sack.

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish ATM?

A: When you take out some money, it says to you, what did you do with the last $50 I gave you? How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.
Q:How do you get jewish girls number?
A:Look under their arm


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