I wonder if – when he was a sperm and made it to the egg, killing 40 million others – Hitler looked back and thought, “I can do better than that.”
I’m thinking of writing a romantic comedy about Hitler.
I’m going to call it “He’s Just Not That Into Jews”
Why did the Jew soundproof his house?
So his kids couldn’t hear the ice cream truck.
Why is the rhinoceros jealous of Jews?
Jews have bigger noses.
Hitler was inspecting one of his camps when he meets a little girl.
He asks the girl how old she is and she says, “I’m turning 10 tomorrow.” to which Hitler responds, “No you’re not.”
Hitler walks into the meeting room and turns to his trusted staff. “I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and 1 Australian.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up, “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill an Australian?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no-one ever asks about the Jews.”
A Jew was playing with an ashtray, when Hitler comes by and asks:
“Are you looking for someone?”
Hitler walks into a library and asks for a book on Genocide.
The librarian says “Fuck Off you won’t finish it”
I was in Paris on holiday and got speaking a Jewish guy on his honeymoon. I asked him where his wife was, and he said “She’s been to Paris before so I didn’t bring her.”
Whats a Jew’s worst dilemma?
Hitler was one of the most evil men in history.
He ordered the mass genocide of 6 million Jews and was pretty much responsible for kicking off World War II.
Although, on the plus side, if he hadn’t have done all that there would be no Call of Duty: World at War
Who’s the best Jewish cook?
The Jews are a bunch of stoners, they love getting baked.
Do you know how the Grand Canyon was formed?
A Jew dropped a nickel into a gopher hole.
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
There’s gas in you’re shower,
Because you’re a Jew
What’s the difference between a jew and a boyscout?
A boyscout can come back from his camp!
What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A canoe occasionally tips!
How many Jews does it take to open a door?
Definitely more than 6 million.
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He comes down the chimney and says “Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?”
What’s the definition of forgiveness?
A Jewish gas meter reader in Berlin.
Two Jews are sitting on a bridge and killing some time. The first one dips his feet in the ocean and shouts: “It is cold! It is cold!”
The other one dips his nose and shouts: “It is also very deep!”
Hitler maybe killed 6 000 000 Jews, but he really saved the History Channel.
Why do Jews watch porn movies in reverse?
They really love the scene when the whore is giving the man back his money.
Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women do not want to touch anything which has not got a 20% deduction.
Why are all Jewish synagogues round?
So that they can not hide in the corners when the guard is making his round.
What is the difference between scouts and Jews?
Scouts return from their camps.
I used to work for a Jewish pet shop.
They were always making sure that no rabbis had accidentally hopped into my bag when I was leaving.
Why don’t Jews eat pigs?
You can call a Jew a lot of things, but they are certainly not cannibals.