How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it. I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.
What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?
In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.
What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
A boy scout comes back from his camp
How was copper wiring invented?
Two jews fighting over a peeny
Q: Did you hear about the new jewish tire coming out this summer?
A: It not only stops you on a dime but it picks it up too.
Q: A Jew walks in to a wall with a boner. What hits first?
A: His nose
Q: Where do Jewish hogs live in Pennsylvania?
A: Pigs Berg
Q: Why did the jew soundproof his house?
A: So his kids couldn’t hear the ice cream truck?
Q: If a doctor carries a black leather bag and a plumber carries a box of tools, what does a mohel carry?
A: A bris kit.
Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.
Q: what does a Jewish pirate say?
A: Ahoy vey!
Q: Where does Moshe hide money from his wife Sadie?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
Jewish people are the most optimistic people in the world. They have some cut off before they even know how big it will get.
What’s the difference between four Christians and four Jews?
Q: Did you hear about the new facility Kraft Foods is building in Israel?
A: It’s called “Cheeses of Nazareth.
Q: What is the proper blessing to recite before logging on to the Internet?
A: “Modem anachnu loch…
Q: What do you call a Jewish kid in a hat?
Q: What Holiday does a Jewish car celebrate?
Q: What do you call a Jewish knight?
A: Sir Cumsiced.
Q: What would you call a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
A: Genghis Cohen.
Q: Why don’t people mug Jews on Yom Kippur?
A: Dey fast.
Q: Did you hear about the Jewish troll?
A: His name was Rumpled Foreskin.
Q: Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
A: They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
Q: What is a jews least favorite hotdog topping?
Q: In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human?
A: When it graduates from med school.
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q: What do you call someone from Israel that has to sneeze?
A: A Jew
Q: Why were gentiles invented?
A: Somebody has to pay retail.